Your name is Alexander McQueen. You hate knockoffs. How do you make a statement at your Spring 2010 show? By making shoes so painfully ridiculous, you'd have to be pretty stupid to knock them off. Or wear them, for that matter. Some of these look so uncomfortable, we might as well go back to the days of footbinding. Ah, suffering for fashion.

Then again, McQueen has always had a knack for translating the seemingly unwearable into the suddenly very desirable. He was one of those cruel fashion gods who made models strut down the runway in 12-inch platforms and clown makeup for Fall 2009. Either way... take that, Mister Madden.